It can be, in some ways. But in others, it isn't at all.

[how does she explain this. . .]

Take the Four, for instance. It doesn't necessarily matter who the Four Great Spirits are, as long as there are four of them. When they die, four others will eventually take their place.

[her hands drop from his cheeks to his shoulders, then down his arms, and then to his hands. her fingers twine with his again]

But for someone who never expected this, then I can see how it would be. . . "a big deal."