[and just like that, he can feel his heart sinking directly into his stomach. he knew it. he knew that telling the phantom thieves would be painful. he knew that he was risking having them turn their back on him the same way many of the people in that game had when they learned the truth about the things he'd done.
but there's no denying that it cuts through his heart even harder than magilou's knife had when she killed him.
he can't even look at futaba; he hadn't been able to as soon as he really started talking, but hearing that reaction, that disbelief—it's too much.
his head dips low, shame obvious in a way that would never have been fiting for the cocky, confident joker before. but of course there's shame—even if it was a "game," he had betrayed people's trust. he hurt them, he killed people with his own hands. a dream that felt real, a dream that truly left him having bad blood with people in a warranted way.]
They—They would have... They did—
[okay, so he's struggling to get the words out here. it's a strange sense of panic that rises in his chest, because he's used to being the one to keep futaba calm, and he can't when he's the one causing her to react this way.
he squeezes magilou's hand tightly enough to a silent indicator. please. please explain the conditions they put over his head, even if briefly so he can try to get himself in order here.]
no subject
but there's no denying that it cuts through his heart even harder than magilou's knife had when she killed him.
he can't even look at futaba; he hadn't been able to as soon as he really started talking, but hearing that reaction, that disbelief—it's too much.
his head dips low, shame obvious in a way that would never have been fiting for the cocky, confident joker before. but of course there's shame—even if it was a "game," he had betrayed people's trust. he hurt them, he killed people with his own hands. a dream that felt real, a dream that truly left him having bad blood with people in a warranted way.]
They—They would have... They did—
[okay, so he's struggling to get the words out here. it's a strange sense of panic that rises in his chest, because he's used to being the one to keep futaba calm, and he can't when he's the one causing her to react this way.
he squeezes magilou's hand tightly enough to a silent indicator. please. please explain the conditions they put over his head, even if briefly so he can try to get himself in order here.]