[and akira's probably not going to give yusuke's expression much reason to lighten up as this conversation progresses, honestly.]
People who had vowed to never break their morals, to never act lethally—held with their backs to the wall and the worst threats above their heads to ensure they'd be complicit.
[Where this is leading is, well. Yusuke's an observant person and the way that Akira is speaking about this, his focus on it, he's getting a sinking feeling that he'd just like to be cleared away before he makes an incorrect assumption.
That's why he hesitantly voices his name and waits, watching him.]
[it's... a lot. a lot to try and say. a lot to try and tell yusuke, especially when he knows how terrible it could really be.
but he has to do this, doesn't he? he's committed this far, so he keeps his words brief. he hands curl into fists, eyes falling closed.
akira...
really can't look at yusuke while he says this.]
One Hangman was given two incentives. The first was that if he didn't cooperate, he'd never be allowed to leave, and his teammates would be brought in to participate to make up the difference.
[...
it's obvious what teammates he means, of course. the phantom thieves, and yusuke should know akira would do anything to protect his friends.]
The second was the promise that a teammate who was already there would die no matter what he did. That their "conditions" for revival were different, and cooperation would... be the only way to save that friend.
[again, it's obvious this is in reference to a phantom thief, even if he can't exactly bring himself to say it was haru. but the cards are laid on the table for yusuke to figure out—to protect the phantom thieves, to save them, he'd broken their values to never act in a lethal way.]
[Yusuke had hoped, for a moment, that Akira wouldn't tell him just what he was starting to think he would hear. He'd get something, anything, that would reassure him that he was just jumping to wild conclusions, why on earth would you think that, Yusuke.
But no.
It's--
He brings his hand up, pressing it over the lower half of his face, his mouth, his gaze dropping to the top of the table. Haru was mixed up in this, too. This terrible thing, held hostage. Akira still doesn't state it outright, but he doesn't need to. Yusuke, however, will do it, voice faintly muffled:]
[well, magilou gets right to the point on that one, and it's probably for the better, because akira, for all that he's always been pretty strong and unwavering—
there's no easy way to say "i couldn't protect haru, and i couldn't save her without taking other lives myself." not for akira, especially not when it goes so far against everything they stood for.
he can't blame yusuke for his shock, or anything else he might be feeling after drawing this very correct conclusion. it makes his stomach feel like it's sinking into his feet; he has no idea how yusuke will take it beyond this.]
[this. . . this next part is between Akira and Yusuke. so for now? Magilou once again lapses into silence. but Akira may feel a slight tug on the hem of his sleeve. a small reminder that even in her silence, Magilou is here to pick up the slack of the story. if he ever needs her to]
[Yusuke's quiet, for once, knuckles of his hand pressing against his mouth, his gaze turning down to the tabletop. Akira was a Hangman. He was made to-- then he killed--
Shaken, he asks nothing else for several long moments. He sits, tense all over like taking this information is is the biggest battle he's had to go through. There's a lump in his throat.
...]
... I'm sorry.
[His voice shakes when he speaks and it's hard to tell if he's apologising for his lack of response or for something else. His other hand curls into a fist and it falls onto the table, fingertips and nails pressing tight into his palm. He's absolutely furious, Yusuke belatedly realises, the angriest he's ever been, very much like what he felt with Madarame.]
You shouldn't have had to go through that... You shouldn't have to carry something like that...!
[it's pretty clear that akira is sincerely surprised by the way yusuke reacts. maybe he should know that his friends are incredibly loyal and understanding, that they wouldn't ever condemn him for something that existed beyond his control—that they would know and understand that the things he did absolutely destroyed him.
but that's the thing about the situation he was in—it messed with his perception of things. people he thought would understand he was cornered turn their backs on him, people who had done the same or worse looked at him as some kind of pariah and treated him as a bad person; it had gotten to the point of hypocrisy that really toyed with his mind. so maybe... maybe it's not so unexpected that akira is surprised by the response.
it takes him a long moment before he can process this, how angry yusuke is about the situation (though not directed at him), how...
that's probably how it should be. they were always in this together, and that realization has him slumping a bit against magilou, relief subtle and quiet that yusuke didn't lash out at him.]
I'm... just glad you didn't have to go through it. That you and the others didn't have to see how bad things really were.
[haru aside, but even haru didn't have to see the terrible things he'd done, so maybe it was for the better in that respect.]
[Magilou rocks to the side a bit when Akira slumps into her, and the hand tugging on his sleeve eventually slides across his back, fingers ruffling the hair at the nape of his neck. her next words are addressed to Yusuke]
Mmm. You're right; he shouldn't.
[but the reality of the situation was that he had to now. he hadn't been given a choice]
It's an awfully heavy burden to bear. . . but, hey. From what I understand, that's part of the reason you stick around, right?
[That Akira is surprised by it hurts, it nails in that he's gone through things that Yusuke can't quite fully understand because he wasn't there. He shakes his head once, as though to say he would've been happier having been there even if it meant having to go through that.
They're a team.
But.
Magilou has it in one. His attention darts to her, his hand loosening some where he's digging his fingers into his palm. He looks searchingly at her, as though seeing her all over again or, perhaps, noticing something that he didn't before. He nods, once, and looks back at Akira.]
Of course.
Whatever strength I can offer, it's yours, Akira. [He places his palm against his own chest. He's earnest, he wants to do so much for the friend and leader who's done so much for him.] You'll always have my support.
[it takes him a long moment, and he's grateful for the fact that magilou steps up to the plate and asks yusuke a question like that so directly.
it helps give akira a minute to get his bearings, to be able to lift his head more properly—to be able to find the words to respond adequately to what yusuke is saying to him right now.
he's fortunate for magilou—but he's fortunate for yusuke and all of the phantom thieves, as well. still standing by him, despite the blood on his hands, despite the things he did, and a sympathetic understanding of why akira made the horrible choices that he did.]
Thank you, Yusuke. [he'll over up quietly, eventually. he's quiet, as ever, but earnest and sincere.
and maybe a little overwhelmed, but he's pushing that part down, because we deal with feelings good in this coffee shop.] I know it's a lot to try and take in.
[but akira is appreciative that his support is unending.]
[Magilou returns the searching gaze that Yusuke gives her, although her expression is even. neutral. she was never one to wear her emotions on her sleeve, and even an island full of murder, even a messy-haired protagonist who pieced her heart back together again, wouldn't be able to change that]
[but when Yusuke looks away, her mouth twitches into something like. . . a smile. not one of her empty, wry ones, either. something approving, something relieved]
[it's gone in an instant]
Aw. . . you two are awfully adorable, do you know that?
[Yusuke blinks, pulled from smiling at Akira's thanks, looking over at Magilou with confusion like what is it... what is adorable?? He doesn't understand.]
I don't know that I would say that.
[He denies it with such confidence... Clearly because friendship and loyalty are beautiful concepts and not adorable ones so you have to get it right, Magilou!! There's time for her to learn, so it's fine.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
[he'll get to the personal details. he's working up to it.
...it's harder than he would have expected it to be, though.]
I'm not sure anyone knows why it happened, though.
no subject
[she shoots Akira a look and a shrug]
But I doubt the Chiefs would've answered that question with honesty and seriousness anyway.
no subject
[He shakes his head shortly, eyes narrowed.
No answer probably would've been satisfactory. There's no good reason to do that, there could never be.]
HOW DID I LOSE THIS NOTIF I'M GOMEN
[annoying!]
Robots. Totally heartless. Even if I had access to the Metaverse, I don't think there'd be a heart to steal.
IT WAS PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK
[I mean. it probably wouldn't have worked anyway, but! why didn't they?]
BUT U FOUND IT
It sounds as though they would have served better as melted metal.
[AGREEING WITH MAGILOU]
no subject
[sorry, mags. that particular way to die just brings back foul memories.]
They were assholes though, to be sure. The things they did... were really worst of all.
[it's... a slow transition into exactly what he was forced to do, really.]
no subject
Mmm. Perhaps their worst crime was manipulating otherwise good-hearted people into committing atrocities they've never dreamed of.
[that's putting it lightly]
no subject
...Indeed. Manipulation like that is not forgivable.
no subject
People who had vowed to never break their morals, to never act lethally—held with their backs to the wall and the worst threats above their heads to ensure they'd be complicit.
[hm.
hmmm.
who does this sound like, exactly?]
no subject
[though, weirdly enough? sometimes she wishes it was]
no subject
... Akira?
[Where this is leading is, well. Yusuke's an observant person and the way that Akira is speaking about this, his focus on it, he's getting a sinking feeling that he'd just like to be cleared away before he makes an incorrect assumption.
That's why he hesitantly voices his name and waits, watching him.]
no subject
but he has to do this, doesn't he? he's committed this far, so he keeps his words brief. he hands curl into fists, eyes falling closed.
akira...
really can't look at yusuke while he says this.]
One Hangman was given two incentives. The first was that if he didn't cooperate, he'd never be allowed to leave, and his teammates would be brought in to participate to make up the difference.
[...
it's obvious what teammates he means, of course. the phantom thieves, and yusuke should know akira would do anything to protect his friends.]
The second was the promise that a teammate who was already there would die no matter what he did. That their "conditions" for revival were different, and cooperation would... be the only way to save that friend.
[again, it's obvious this is in reference to a phantom thief, even if he can't exactly bring himself to say it was haru. but the cards are laid on the table for yusuke to figure out—to protect the phantom thieves, to save them, he'd broken their values to never act in a lethal way.]
no subject
[Akira can't bring himself to give her name, but Magilou can]
That's the teammate who was brought to that island with him.
no subject
But no.
It's--
He brings his hand up, pressing it over the lower half of his face, his mouth, his gaze dropping to the top of the table. Haru was mixed up in this, too. This terrible thing, held hostage. Akira still doesn't state it outright, but he doesn't need to. Yusuke, however, will do it, voice faintly muffled:]
You were this Hangman, Akira?
no subject
there's no easy way to say "i couldn't protect haru, and i couldn't save her without taking other lives myself." not for akira, especially not when it goes so far against everything they stood for.
he can't blame yusuke for his shock, or anything else he might be feeling after drawing this very correct conclusion. it makes his stomach feel like it's sinking into his feet; he has no idea how yusuke will take it beyond this.]
...One of them, yeah.
no subject
no subject
Shaken, he asks nothing else for several long moments. He sits, tense all over like taking this information is is the biggest battle he's had to go through. There's a lump in his throat.
...]
... I'm sorry.
[His voice shakes when he speaks and it's hard to tell if he's apologising for his lack of response or for something else. His other hand curls into a fist and it falls onto the table, fingertips and nails pressing tight into his palm. He's absolutely furious, Yusuke belatedly realises, the angriest he's ever been, very much like what he felt with Madarame.]
You shouldn't have had to go through that... You shouldn't have to carry something like that...!
no subject
[it's pretty clear that akira is sincerely surprised by the way yusuke reacts. maybe he should know that his friends are incredibly loyal and understanding, that they wouldn't ever condemn him for something that existed beyond his control—that they would know and understand that the things he did absolutely destroyed him.
but that's the thing about the situation he was in—it messed with his perception of things. people he thought would understand he was cornered turn their backs on him, people who had done the same or worse looked at him as some kind of pariah and treated him as a bad person; it had gotten to the point of hypocrisy that really toyed with his mind. so maybe... maybe it's not so unexpected that akira is surprised by the response.
it takes him a long moment before he can process this, how angry yusuke is about the situation (though not directed at him), how...
that's probably how it should be. they were always in this together, and that realization has him slumping a bit against magilou, relief subtle and quiet that yusuke didn't lash out at him.]
I'm... just glad you didn't have to go through it. That you and the others didn't have to see how bad things really were.
[haru aside, but even haru didn't have to see the terrible things he'd done, so maybe it was for the better in that respect.]
no subject
Mmm. You're right; he shouldn't.
[but the reality of the situation was that he had to now. he hadn't been given a choice]
It's an awfully heavy burden to bear. . . but, hey. From what I understand, that's part of the reason you stick around, right?
[she's going somewhere with this]
To help him with those sorts of things?
no subject
They're a team.
But.
Magilou has it in one. His attention darts to her, his hand loosening some where he's digging his fingers into his palm. He looks searchingly at her, as though seeing her all over again or, perhaps, noticing something that he didn't before. He nods, once, and looks back at Akira.]
Of course.
Whatever strength I can offer, it's yours, Akira. [He places his palm against his own chest. He's earnest, he wants to do so much for the friend and leader who's done so much for him.] You'll always have my support.
no subject
it helps give akira a minute to get his bearings, to be able to lift his head more properly—to be able to find the words to respond adequately to what yusuke is saying to him right now.
he's fortunate for magilou—but he's fortunate for yusuke and all of the phantom thieves, as well. still standing by him, despite the blood on his hands, despite the things he did, and a sympathetic understanding of why akira made the horrible choices that he did.]
Thank you, Yusuke. [he'll over up quietly, eventually. he's quiet, as ever, but earnest and sincere.
and maybe a little overwhelmed, but he's pushing that part down, because we deal with feelings good in this coffee shop.] I know it's a lot to try and take in.
[but akira is appreciative that his support is unending.]
no subject
[but when Yusuke looks away, her mouth twitches into something like. . . a smile. not one of her empty, wry ones, either. something approving, something relieved]
[it's gone in an instant]
Aw. . . you two are awfully adorable, do you know that?
[her tone is light and teasing]
no subject
I don't know that I would say that.
[He denies it with such confidence... Clearly because friendship and loyalty are beautiful concepts and not adorable ones so you have to get it right, Magilou!! There's time for her to learn, so it's fine.]
no subject
["adorable" is definitely not the word akira would use to describe this situation either, in all honestly.
so it's fine.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)