CALL ME OUT: i'm in psl hell edition

[majinken]

MINAKO ARISATO
persona 3

GENKI SILENT PROTAG. She'll probably strong-arm you into doing something ridiculous, and do so with the cutest smile on earth. She might also poke you with a naginata if you're a punk.

orphean

AKIRA KURUSU
persona 5

THE SASSY PROTAG. a phantom thief with a heart of gold. lives rebelliously and without regrets, though spends most of his time feigning a very unassuming persona. #nailedit

jokered

STAHN AILERON
tales of destiny

A true sunshine protagonist. Country bumpkin, slow on the uptake. Wants to be everyone's friend. Swordian Master of fire, incredibly hot-blooded. A GOOD BEAN. Please love him. He's my favorite and I am biased.

majinken

HAROLD BERSELIUS
tales of destiny 2

The original fabulous Tales science lady. Probably wants to dissect you pretty shamelessly. Loves and adores cute things. Inventor of the Swordians. Definitely the definition of Mad Scientist.

probings

all others are lower priority, but available upon request!

Comments

[probings]

Well... probably because you dropped in the middle of a war zone. ♪

[duh.]

Radislowe is the center of our base of operations, so it's got all the amenities you'd need... within reason. It's not a resort, after all!

[spinatalltale]

You might be able to make it a resort if you advertise it as a weekend getaway in the mountains.

[that is probably not the point she's making, Magilou!1]

[probings]

Do you always go vacationing in military bases centered in a war zone?

[yeah, she's questioning how stupid magilou actually is right now.]

[spinatalltale]

I don't, but I'm sure that would have perfect appeal to some! Think about it. You'd be advertising to a long-neglected demographic. You'd make millions in months! No, weeks!

[DON'T TAKE HER SERIOUSLY]

[probings]

I think everyone is a little too focused on not dying, starving and freezing to death.

[geez.]

And people say I have a bad grip on reality...

1/2

[spinatalltale]

[gasp]

You're right! I can feel it slipping! My tenuous grasp on reality! There it goes, disappearing into the wind, like wisps of smoke vanishing from sight. . .!

[spinatalltale]

-- just kidding.

[STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC]

Do you not know how to take a little joke?

[probings]

When the joke is funny, yes.

[and then:]

Good comedy needs good brains behind it, though.

[spinatalltale]

[HEY]

Ow-uch! What a harsh review from my newest audience! No minced words, no gentle let downs, just a blunt truth that shatters the edges of my blackened heart!

[and she pops back to normal again seconds later]

Oh, well. I'll just work on making my material better for next time.

[probings]

[for all that harold can be entirely melodramatic... it's much less fun for her when someone else is doing it.

boo.

how uncute!]

Maybe we should do a little work to improve your humor mechanisms...

[spinatalltale]

[excuse u harold she is very cute!!]

Are you a professional comedian? I only take advice from professionals.

[probings]

Who said anything about advice?

[no, she wants to dissect your brain, magilou. cut it right open and see how it's wired, maybe tweak it so she can see why magilou thinks she's so funny.]

[spinatalltale]

[!!!!]

Why do I suddenly feel as though I'm being looked at like I'm some unique and strange specimen to be studied!!

[probings]

Oh-hooo! So you're not as dumb as you look, after all!

[yeah.]

[spinatalltale]

I'll have you know that I have in no way signed a "consent to donate my body for the good of science" contract. Ergo!

[dramatic pointing!!]

If you want to study my comedic genius, you'll have to offer me some compensation.

[like. a warm room. food. things like that]

[probings]

You don't have to donate... you'll get it all back. It's not like I'm looking for a scientific sacrifice, I'm more humane than that!

[or maybe, it's just that there's no fun to it if she's not alive. that would just be an autopsy, corpses are no fun.

still...]

Is a warm place to sleep and food in your belly not enough compensation for invading a military base at wartime?

[spinatalltale]

You read my mind! Incidentally, a warm place to sleep and food is exactly the price I was thinking of charging!

[kira kira]

But also, I'll need a guarantee that I'll get it all back in the same condition as before.

[probings]

You'll be. F-I-N-E.

[just saying.]

Do you need some kind of testimonial for that? I have someone to vouch for me.

[granted. that person is her... twin brother. who is very much so sane but also... always willing to stick up for her, even if he's the first to admit that she's a handful.]

[spinatalltale]

Oh, please. Anyone can get anyone to vouch for them if they pay enough.

[Magilou!!]

No, your simple word will do for the time being. I do reserve the right to retract that if I find things get a little too sketchy, though.

[probings]

Alright, alright. I think I can work with that kind of bargain. I wasn't planning anything that dire, anyway.

But let's get one thing straight.

[oh?]

They pay me for my genius, not the other way around! ♪

[spinatalltale]

[. . . o, you. you interesting person, you]

Hey, that's what they call good business. I can't help but admire it.

[probings]

I'm not a genius for nothing, you know.

[she's also just. so confident.]

[spinatalltale]

Right right, of course of course. I can see that, now.

But now that our contract is sealed! Might you lead me to this warm food I've been promised?

[probings]

Might I?

[she will, but she has to be an asspain first, as these mages do.]

[spinatalltale]

. . .

[is she waiting for Magilou to say "please"]