[it's pretty clear that stahn isn't actually expecting any company at all. he had been careful (or so he thought) to sneak away without being noticed. stahn never really minds company, as a person who prefers not to be alone.
but this is his burden to bear, isn't it?
he can't put this weight on someone else. not when it's been made clear to him time and time again that he can't be that weak. he has to bear his own weigh and be the strength that everyone needs to get through such a hopeless-seeming situation.
he understands the gravity of the situation, and he's come to understand that he can't drag everyone else down when they need him. it's an act, sure... but an act he wants to live up to as a swordian master, as someone who wields a swordian as strong and remarkable as dymlos, as that.
so of course, he startles a bit at the sound of a familiar voice.]
Eh—Rutee?
[definitely unexpected. he hardly even processes what her words her, because the only thing that snapped him out of his thoughts was the fact that he heard her voice. it's almost instantaneous, how he sits up at attention before whipping his head around to see her walking towards him.
[so lost in thought that she took him completely off guard? yup, that serious. and the idiot really thought he could carry this heavy a load by himself? ah, what troublesome sort of guy. he looks out for everyone else but doesn't think to let others do the same for him. well, that's why she's both beauty and brains. maybe just this once rutee doesn't mind being the one doing all the thinking.
as soon as she's nice and settled, rutee'll finally turn to look at stahn.]
So then? Spill.
[talk to her. it's okay to lean on her. voice and body language both convey her own willingness to listen to whatever might be weighing on his mind. who knows whether or not stahn'll open up so easily. even so, rutee doesn't plan on leaving him all alone with something so obviously plaguing him. maybe way back when they first met, she wouldn't have cared to comfort him, but that was then and this is now. so much has changed since their first meeting.
huh, when did things change so much?
rutee can't say when, but what matters is that this goofball next to her somehow became a precious goofball. she'll support him both in battle and outside it. free of charge, too. so, precious goofball, get to talking.]
[of course, he's troublesome in that way. when everyone has said to him time and time again that he needs to get over it, that he has to keep moving forward, that they need for him to be stronger—of course, stahn will take that to heart. he's trusting to a fault, after all. if his friends tell him that's what they need from him—
well, of course stahn is going to take that to heart.
it makes the fact that rutee is offering an ear and a shoulder in some way a bit surprising, though. after ilene's untimely death, it seems like rutee was the first to really scold him and remind him that they didn't have time for this. so this gentle offer seems...
not out of character, per se, but a bit surprising. it shows in his expression, with how his eyebrows raise and his jaw goes slack for a moment before he clamps it shut again. it's not a bad thing—they're friends, after all, and stahn has always offered her support when she was struggling (once he realized she was, of course), but here and now? he's not entirely sure how to respond.]
I was just trying to clear my head before I sleep, is all. A lot's happened lately...
[everything has been so nonstop that he just hasn't really had the time to process it. he's a sheltered kid from the countryside; before this journey...
he really didn't know much of death and destruction. he didn't know of the world's horrors. he didn't understand the evils people were capable of, or how someone who could want good and the same things he does could stand by ideals that ultimately would hurt more people—and that when those ideals couldn't be met, suicide was an option to some people.
stahn was raised so secluded that learning so much of what others had know much younger than him is just overwhelming—and he's not really sure how to address it while maintaining the ideal everyone expects from him, either.]
[she had told him to stay strong and were the situation as pressing and as dire as before then she would say it again. at that point in time, stahn needed to be strong for them all. he's become the glue that binds them and the sun that gives them hope to keep going.
ugh, that was too cheesy even for an internal monolog.
but cheesy doesn't make it untrue. without stahn around, the whole situation becomes far more dreary and hopeless. something about this silly country boy gives people hope. he may not have saved everyone, not leon or ilene or them, but he saved her and he's saving the world.]
It really has, hasn't it?
[some wistfulness colors her own face as she turns to stare out at the dark waters. so much happened so quickly and spiraled into something so horrible.]
Who would've thought that the stupid-looking guy who ruined my plans on the Draconia would end up dragging me along on the ride to save the world?
[who would've thought her opinion of him could've changed so much? or that she herself would've changed so much as a result? gald still matters to her and the kids at the orphanage do, too, but it feels as though the world matters now, too. had this transpired earlier, she might've instead took her chance to make a solid profit off selling things while waiting for someone else to play hero. with who she is now, the thought of leaving it up to someone else can only be called ridiculous. beating in miktran's face and saving the world: she wants both as much as stahn does.
and she wants to save stahn just as much.
maybe her words were too harsh earlier, especially for someone as innocent and country-bred as stahn. supporting him now ought to make up for it. doing so outright and without a little theatrics, however, isn't rutee's style. listen, despite the development, she's still her and that's why rutee heaves the most dramatic sigh possible.]
And for free, too!
[she turns and wags her finger at him as close to his face as possible.]
So that's why I'm going to charge you, Stahn, right here and now.
so even if he does perk up a bit just from general conversation—and trying to not make it so obvious that he's been a bit upset about things...
he's also a bit puzzled at rutee's approach.
it's just straight up confusion at her words and her approach, causing him to look at her with his head tilted to one side—making him certainly take on the appearance of a puppy that's heard a new sound for the first time.
except he's heard rutee say similar things before, just in a different context entirely.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
but this is his burden to bear, isn't it?
he can't put this weight on someone else. not when it's been made clear to him time and time again that he can't be that weak. he has to bear his own weigh and be the strength that everyone needs to get through such a hopeless-seeming situation.
he understands the gravity of the situation, and he's come to understand that he can't drag everyone else down when they need him. it's an act, sure... but an act he wants to live up to as a swordian master, as someone who wields a swordian as strong and remarkable as dymlos, as that.
so of course, he startles a bit at the sound of a familiar voice.]
Eh—Rutee?
[definitely unexpected. he hardly even processes what her words her, because the only thing that snapped him out of his thoughts was the fact that he heard her voice. it's almost instantaneous, how he sits up at attention before whipping his head around to see her walking towards him.
(so much for that whole plan, huh?)]
no subject
That serious, hmm?
[so lost in thought that she took him completely off guard? yup, that serious. and the idiot really thought he could carry this heavy a load by himself? ah, what troublesome sort of guy. he looks out for everyone else but doesn't think to let others do the same for him. well, that's why she's both beauty and brains. maybe just this once rutee doesn't mind being the one doing all the thinking.
as soon as she's nice and settled, rutee'll finally turn to look at stahn.]
So then? Spill.
[talk to her. it's okay to lean on her. voice and body language both convey her own willingness to listen to whatever might be weighing on his mind. who knows whether or not stahn'll open up so easily. even so, rutee doesn't plan on leaving him all alone with something so obviously plaguing him. maybe way back when they first met, she wouldn't have cared to comfort him, but that was then and this is now. so much has changed since their first meeting.
huh, when did things change so much?
rutee can't say when, but what matters is that this goofball next to her somehow became a precious goofball. she'll support him both in battle and outside it. free of charge, too. so, precious goofball, get to talking.]
no subject
well, of course stahn is going to take that to heart.
it makes the fact that rutee is offering an ear and a shoulder in some way a bit surprising, though. after ilene's untimely death, it seems like rutee was the first to really scold him and remind him that they didn't have time for this. so this gentle offer seems...
not out of character, per se, but a bit surprising. it shows in his expression, with how his eyebrows raise and his jaw goes slack for a moment before he clamps it shut again. it's not a bad thing—they're friends, after all, and stahn has always offered her support when she was struggling (once he realized she was, of course), but here and now? he's not entirely sure how to respond.]
I was just trying to clear my head before I sleep, is all. A lot's happened lately...
[everything has been so nonstop that he just hasn't really had the time to process it. he's a sheltered kid from the countryside; before this journey...
he really didn't know much of death and destruction. he didn't know of the world's horrors. he didn't understand the evils people were capable of, or how someone who could want good and the same things he does could stand by ideals that ultimately would hurt more people—and that when those ideals couldn't be met, suicide was an option to some people.
stahn was raised so secluded that learning so much of what others had know much younger than him is just overwhelming—and he's not really sure how to address it while maintaining the ideal everyone expects from him, either.]
no subject
ugh, that was too cheesy even for an internal monolog.
but cheesy doesn't make it untrue. without stahn around, the whole situation becomes far more dreary and hopeless. something about this silly country boy gives people hope. he may not have saved everyone, not leon or ilene or them, but he saved her and he's saving the world.]
It really has, hasn't it?
[some wistfulness colors her own face as she turns to stare out at the dark waters. so much happened so quickly and spiraled into something so horrible.]
Who would've thought that the stupid-looking guy who ruined my plans on the Draconia would end up dragging me along on the ride to save the world?
[who would've thought her opinion of him could've changed so much? or that she herself would've changed so much as a result? gald still matters to her and the kids at the orphanage do, too, but it feels as though the world matters now, too. had this transpired earlier, she might've instead took her chance to make a solid profit off selling things while waiting for someone else to play hero. with who she is now, the thought of leaving it up to someone else can only be called ridiculous. beating in miktran's face and saving the world: she wants both as much as stahn does.
and she wants to save stahn just as much.
maybe her words were too harsh earlier, especially for someone as innocent and country-bred as stahn. supporting him now ought to make up for it. doing so outright and without a little theatrics, however, isn't rutee's style. listen, despite the development, she's still her and that's why rutee heaves the most dramatic sigh possible.]
And for free, too!
[she turns and wags her finger at him as close to his face as possible.]
So that's why I'm going to charge you, Stahn, right here and now.
no subject
so even if he does perk up a bit just from general conversation—and trying to not make it so obvious that he's been a bit upset about things...
he's also a bit puzzled at rutee's approach.
it's just straight up confusion at her words and her approach, causing him to look at her with his head tilted to one side—making him certainly take on the appearance of a puppy that's heard a new sound for the first time.
except he's heard rutee say similar things before, just in a different context entirely.]
Eh? Charge me for what?