007 ☀ Stahn Aileron, Kashuu Kiyomitsu

[majinken]

Comments

[sharplydressed]

...I think so?

[REASSURING, CERTAINLY. An "I think so" might be even worse than a "definitely not", honestly.]

But I don't think I can pull 'em into this on such short notice, either.

[majinken]

[of course, stahn would see that as better even if it's probably worse. it's fine? everything is fine.]

Hm.... I wonder if we can find someone else to ask, then.

[sharplydressed]

Oh— I know! Let's just find a restaurant and talk to the chef.

[No?? No. Why does he think this is a good idea.]

[majinken]

Oh! That's a really good idea, a chef would definitely know something like that!

[stahn also thinks this is a good idea, and this is exactly why they're both moerons, honestly.]

[sharplydressed]

[THIS IS WHY THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH LITERALLY ANYTHING. Kashuu picks up the bucket anyway though and just starts trotting off to the left, nodding in the direction of a strip of beachside eateries.]

We can start here! Shouldn't be too hard, yeah?

[majinken]

[they can't and shouldn't be trusted, this is full of terrible life choices in every single way imaginable.]

Mm, mm! One of the chefs has to know something, definitely! Let's go, Kashuu!

[sharplydressed]

[TRULY and yet no one intelligent is here to stop these fools, so away he goes, waltzing into the first shop with his bucket full of tiny seafood like this is totally normal.]

To the back!

[The kitchen door, that is... At least Kashuu has the common sense(??????) to stop here before barging in.]

Should we knock first?

[majinken]

[truly, there's nothing abnormal about this scenario at all. every day, people definitely do this exactly thing.

right?

(no, stahn. no, they don't.)]

Probably... it would be rude if we didn't, right?

[sharplydressed]

[As if planning on barging into a kitchen to ask for help cooking sad fish is less rude. HELP THEM...]

Right, right. Okay!

[AND A KNOCK-KNOCKIN HE GOES...

...

......]

...I'm not sure anyone's in there?

[Or, more accurately, they probably just don't hear the knocking over the bustle of the kitchen. Some of the nearby patrons of the restaurant hear though, and they're definitely side-eying.]

[majinken]

Hm... but if people are here eating, someone has to be in the kitchen, right?

[look at that, he rubbed two brain cells together on this stupid day to piece that much together.

not that the idea he's coming up with is going to. actually help at all.] Maybe we should knock louder...

[sharplydressed]

[A BRILLIANT SCHEME FROM A BRILLIANT MIND.]

Good plan! [Said Brilliant Mind #2, clearly competing for the genius crown.

He knocks louder.

...

And then a busy server comes bustling through the door with their arms loaded with trays.]

Woah—!

[LEAPING BACK but in the process, there go some of their tiny crabs, sailing out of the bucket?!]

[majinken]

Whoa—!

[that comes practically in unison, though stahn stumbles back a bit from the surprise, before—]

Ahhh, the crabs! [he has to save the crabs, naturally, so he's going to just. get down on the ground and try to do that.

this is absolutely not a disaster at all.]

[sharplydressed]

[THE CRABS ARE SKITTERING EVERYWHERE. THEY'RE FREE!! THEY'RE FLEEING TO A BETTER PLACE!! One's zooming up Stahn's arm at light speeds ominously. The waiter with his trays steps on another... Kashuu starts yelling and nearly knocks the dude over.]

You killed him before we could even eat him!!

[RUSHING TO THE SIDE OF THEIR FALLEN COMRA-- oh god squished crab is not a good look. Fortunately, in the background, the waiter saves himself from falling over! But also drops a tray on the nearest table.

Chaos.]

[majinken]

[this is absolute chaos, though if nothing else, at least stahn can pluck the crab off his arm without freaking out.

so there's that.

...though there's probably not really much else.

at least they didn't name the crabs?]

Aahhhh!! [stahn feels bad for the waiter, honestly.] Sorry, sorry! We didn't mean to—

[not helping. none of this is helping their cause as all.]

[sharplydressed]

[PATRONS ARE SCREAMING, THE WAITER IS YELLING, COOKS ARE COMING OUT OF THE KITCHEN TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING...

Kashuu's gathered up their bucket and whatever crabs he could catch, in the meantime, and immediately tugs on Stahn's arm.]

We gotta abort the mission!

[Time to run.]

[majinken]

But Kashuu—!

[no, stahn! there's no time...

which is fine, because at least kashuu will tug on his arm and force stahn's hand. this mission has definitely gone horribly wrong and they will absolutely wind up getting arrested or something.

so yeah. bailing and probably both breathless and exasperated once they get their asses to relative safety from angry restaurateurs.

oops.]

[sharplydressed]

[AWAY THEY FLEE.........

At least there are no muffled police sirens in the distance. Yet. Kashuu won't stop running until they're a fair distance away, in any case, and probably drag Stahn into some shady alley just for good measure.]

—Geez, that waiter was so clumsy!

[Don't blame it on other people...]

Did any of our food even survive?

[majinken]

[this is definitely the second time in one day that stahn's ended up out of breath because of kashuu yoloing too hard.

but it's fine.

even if after they stop running, stahn hunches over to try and remember how to get air back into his lungs. at least if he dies here, it'll be in a shady and questionable alley and everyone will just think he was murdered.

or whatever.]

I... dunno... what's— in the bucket? [he's dying, kashuu.]

[sharplydressed]

[Ah... it's true...... Kashuu just goes too hard, he has no idea how to stop. Someone needs to do him a favor and stop him themselves, honestly.]

Uh... a few crabs? And the things that couldn't scuttle around so fast... Seaweed, some starfish, y'know.

[Y'KNOW.

He seems to notice Stahn's distress, though...]

...D'you need to sit down or something?

[majinken]

I'm okay...

[he just needs to catch his breath, it's fine? really...

maybe he shouldn't have used all his energy rushing to the beach to begin with, but it's probably too late to dwell on that. stahn definitely just didn't expect to do all this running in the hot sun.

he's better with heat than with cold, but it definitely still winds him when he's more or less only eaten ice cream today. he needs sustenance, though it seems like a chunk of their meal has scurried away of been crushed.]

I didn't think I'd have to run this much today... I didn't warm up for that at all!

[sharplydressed]

[Meanwhile, this cheating ass is totally fine because his body is fake. HE DOESN'T EVEN NEED THESE LUNGS what a jerk.]

Oh... Mm, well, maybe we should go into the next place with an escape plan in mind?

[1) Implying that he wants to try this disastrous plan a second time
2) Implying that he thinks they're going to fail anyway

Why.]

[majinken]

[why do you have to be such a cheating cheater, kashuu.]

An escape plan?

[clearly, an idea like this never even crossed stahn's mind.

and worse yet is the fact that he doesn't seem to consider even for a second that this is arguably an even worse idea than their first attempt.

they are definitely too dumb for this life.]

[sharplydressed]

[Here they are, highlighting for the 1000th time that they both need babysitters like 24/7.]

Yeah! Like, if the situation starts looking sketchy, we should probably find a better and easier way to bail. And one that won't end with us running for ages...

[He's trying to be a little merciful for poor Stahn's sake.]

[majinken]

Oh! That's good idea. Does that mean we need to scout the area first?

[okay, the real question is why the fuck does stahn even know phrases like that. when.

he's stahn.

but it's fine?]

[sharplydressed]

[IS THAT REALLY FINE. Even Kashuu looks mildly surprised... What is he, friends with a bunch of robbers??]

Mm, yeah. Scouting's probably the best first step... That way, we know where all the exits are and can pick the one that's gonna attract the least attention!

[All this for a loaf of bread bowl of shitty seafood hotpot.]