007 ☀ Stahn Aileron, Kashuu Kiyomitsu

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Comments

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Oh, right. You have a good point. They'll go bad if that happens too soon, too, and then we'll be out of luck for our hot pot...

[even stahn isn't that dumb, he knows that seafood does not last sitting around like that, especially on a hot beach day.

congrats stahn, sometimes you get this much right.]

[sharplydressed]

Yeah, a hot pot with only veggies and seaweed or whatever wouldn't be any good.

[As if one with tiny crabs and little shallows minnows and shit will be any better?! High aspirations for the taste of this dish happening here, apparently.

...

Actually, that brings something else to mind. Something that's probably important.]

...How do you even prepare crabs? Or fish this tiny?

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Can't you just boil them?

[somehow, they're going to make a hot pot without actually... knowing how to prepare things.

they're doomed.

someone might die today, it seems.]

[sharplydressed]

Well, yeah, but don't you have to gut 'em? Clean 'em?

[Someone may indeed die and it'll probably be neither of them, because idiots can't catch colds or die of food poisoning.]

Maybe since they're tiny, it won't matter...

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Should we try to ask someone first? I've never tried to make anything like this...

[someone might die of food poisoning, it could be possible when they're both this stupid.]

[sharplydressed]

[A LONG PAUSE...

...

Honestly, that's a great idea and now he's feeling silly for not thinking of it first. Good thing he's not one of the less mature swords in the flock or his stupid ass would probably be over here insisting they do it on their own out of spite.]

Who should we ask, though?

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Um...

[he pauses, very eriously thoughtful for a moment.]

Do you know anyone that's really good at cooking? [he's pretty sure he knows people he could ask, but it may not be that easy to get in touch with them right now.]

[sharplydressed]

...I think so?

[REASSURING, CERTAINLY. An "I think so" might be even worse than a "definitely not", honestly.]

But I don't think I can pull 'em into this on such short notice, either.

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[of course, stahn would see that as better even if it's probably worse. it's fine? everything is fine.]

Hm.... I wonder if we can find someone else to ask, then.

[sharplydressed]

Oh— I know! Let's just find a restaurant and talk to the chef.

[No?? No. Why does he think this is a good idea.]

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Oh! That's a really good idea, a chef would definitely know something like that!

[stahn also thinks this is a good idea, and this is exactly why they're both moerons, honestly.]

[sharplydressed]

[THIS IS WHY THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH LITERALLY ANYTHING. Kashuu picks up the bucket anyway though and just starts trotting off to the left, nodding in the direction of a strip of beachside eateries.]

We can start here! Shouldn't be too hard, yeah?

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[they can't and shouldn't be trusted, this is full of terrible life choices in every single way imaginable.]

Mm, mm! One of the chefs has to know something, definitely! Let's go, Kashuu!

[sharplydressed]

[TRULY and yet no one intelligent is here to stop these fools, so away he goes, waltzing into the first shop with his bucket full of tiny seafood like this is totally normal.]

To the back!

[The kitchen door, that is... At least Kashuu has the common sense(??????) to stop here before barging in.]

Should we knock first?

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[truly, there's nothing abnormal about this scenario at all. every day, people definitely do this exactly thing.

right?

(no, stahn. no, they don't.)]

Probably... it would be rude if we didn't, right?

[sharplydressed]

[As if planning on barging into a kitchen to ask for help cooking sad fish is less rude. HELP THEM...]

Right, right. Okay!

[AND A KNOCK-KNOCKIN HE GOES...

...

......]

...I'm not sure anyone's in there?

[Or, more accurately, they probably just don't hear the knocking over the bustle of the kitchen. Some of the nearby patrons of the restaurant hear though, and they're definitely side-eying.]

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Hm... but if people are here eating, someone has to be in the kitchen, right?

[look at that, he rubbed two brain cells together on this stupid day to piece that much together.

not that the idea he's coming up with is going to. actually help at all.] Maybe we should knock louder...

[sharplydressed]

[A BRILLIANT SCHEME FROM A BRILLIANT MIND.]

Good plan! [Said Brilliant Mind #2, clearly competing for the genius crown.

He knocks louder.

...

And then a busy server comes bustling through the door with their arms loaded with trays.]

Woah—!

[LEAPING BACK but in the process, there go some of their tiny crabs, sailing out of the bucket?!]

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Whoa—!

[that comes practically in unison, though stahn stumbles back a bit from the surprise, before—]

Ahhh, the crabs! [he has to save the crabs, naturally, so he's going to just. get down on the ground and try to do that.

this is absolutely not a disaster at all.]

[sharplydressed]

[THE CRABS ARE SKITTERING EVERYWHERE. THEY'RE FREE!! THEY'RE FLEEING TO A BETTER PLACE!! One's zooming up Stahn's arm at light speeds ominously. The waiter with his trays steps on another... Kashuu starts yelling and nearly knocks the dude over.]

You killed him before we could even eat him!!

[RUSHING TO THE SIDE OF THEIR FALLEN COMRA-- oh god squished crab is not a good look. Fortunately, in the background, the waiter saves himself from falling over! But also drops a tray on the nearest table.

Chaos.]

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[this is absolute chaos, though if nothing else, at least stahn can pluck the crab off his arm without freaking out.

so there's that.

...though there's probably not really much else.

at least they didn't name the crabs?]

Aahhhh!! [stahn feels bad for the waiter, honestly.] Sorry, sorry! We didn't mean to—

[not helping. none of this is helping their cause as all.]

[sharplydressed]

[PATRONS ARE SCREAMING, THE WAITER IS YELLING, COOKS ARE COMING OUT OF THE KITCHEN TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING...

Kashuu's gathered up their bucket and whatever crabs he could catch, in the meantime, and immediately tugs on Stahn's arm.]

We gotta abort the mission!

[Time to run.]

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But Kashuu—!

[no, stahn! there's no time...

which is fine, because at least kashuu will tug on his arm and force stahn's hand. this mission has definitely gone horribly wrong and they will absolutely wind up getting arrested or something.

so yeah. bailing and probably both breathless and exasperated once they get their asses to relative safety from angry restaurateurs.

oops.]

[sharplydressed]

[AWAY THEY FLEE.........

At least there are no muffled police sirens in the distance. Yet. Kashuu won't stop running until they're a fair distance away, in any case, and probably drag Stahn into some shady alley just for good measure.]

—Geez, that waiter was so clumsy!

[Don't blame it on other people...]

Did any of our food even survive?

[majinken]

[this is definitely the second time in one day that stahn's ended up out of breath because of kashuu yoloing too hard.

but it's fine.

even if after they stop running, stahn hunches over to try and remember how to get air back into his lungs. at least if he dies here, it'll be in a shady and questionable alley and everyone will just think he was murdered.

or whatever.]

I... dunno... what's— in the bucket? [he's dying, kashuu.]