007 ☀ Stahn Aileron, Kashuu Kiyomitsu

[majinken]

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[sharplydressed]

[STAHN, NO...

But Kashuu sees nothing wrong with him seeing nothing wrong with his totally sound logic, and thus the cycle turns ever onward.]

Well, if you're sure... Maybe you should stick to the shallows for a bit first just in case?

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[this is why they both need a real adult to supervise basically anything they do. who even let them go to the beach alone?]

I mean... I guess I can! I don't think it'll be a problem though.

[sharplydressed]

[They need their own personal lifeguard, it's true... At least Kashuu can dive in to help if Stahn does start to cramp and die. Good work, team.]

Then let's get moving before this place crowds up!

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[at least he probably won't cramp up and die.]

It's a good thing the beach is really big! [but it's time to gooo! to go swimming!!]

[sharplydressed]

["PROBABLY". Don't live in the dangerzone, Stahn. Be safe, wear water wings!!]

Last one to the water's a rusty butter knife!

[why the fuck

BUT OFF HE GOES, even though he doesn't actually dash into the water. He just heads to the tidepools, so he can sit at the edge and poke at all the pretty things inside.]

Ooh, this starfish is purple!

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[why a rusty butter knife, kashuu? that's enough to puzzle stahn long enough for kashuu to get a head start, but he doesn't even get properly into the water before he's being sidetracked anyway.]

Whoa, really?

[naturally, he's going to come over to check it out, and—]

Wow, it is! That's really pretty!

[sharplydressed]

[Sword sayings make no sense ever, it's better to just Not Ask...

But!! He'll point out the starfish even though Stahn's clearly seeing it, looking pretty excited. And... curious?]

Can you eat starfish? I wonder if the purple ones would taste any better.

[Why.]

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I've never heard of people eating starfish before...

[but stahn is stahn. there's so much about the world he doesn't know.] I wonder if you can! Or what it would taste like...

[but now he's curious, what have they done.]

[sharplydressed]

Maybe like sea urchin? They kinda have the same texture on the bottom... But the top part's probably all cartilage, I bet that'd be nasty.

[The bottom is where all the organs are, though?! There's a dang reason no one eats starfish but Kashuu sure doesn't care.]

Wanna catch one and cook it?

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We could try! Do you know how to cook something like that, Kashuu?

[because stahn doesn't. he knows how to make rice porridge (poorly) and that's about it.

not that he won't try his damnedest.

...this is a mistake, it's a mistake in all ways.]

[sharplydressed]

[THIS IS A MISTAKE IN SO MANY WAYS and it's about to just become even more of a mistake because Kashuu says:]

We could figure it out together!

[Thus dooming the both of them, and probably anyone within a 50 mile radius of whatever kitchen they inflict themselves upon.]

I bet we could grill it. Anything tastes good if you grill it, yeah?

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Yeah! I always like grilled things, so... maybe it'll work! We won't know unless we try, anyway.

[at least nobody can say stahn isn't willing to try most foods at least once.

even if this probably doesn't even qualify as food.

and even if it does, it's not like either of them actually knows how to prepare it. this is going to be well beyond a disaster in every way, but stahn's incredibly optimistic for the notion anyway.]

[sharplydressed]

Okay - but not this one. This one's way too pretty to eat!

[Congrats, purple starfish... Being purple has saved you from being arbitrarily murdered and probably not even consumed by these two dinguses who just want to do their best but need So Much Help.]

Maybe we can find some other things to eat while we're out here, too. Like crabs or clams... We can make a seafood hotpot!

[Don't go to the beach to pick up dinner.]

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Oh! A seafood hotpot sounds really good—I bet we could find some crabs too if we look really hard!

[this is the best-worst idea ever, clearly. stahn's kind of getting hungry just thinking about a seafood hotpot.

...not that he actually even knows how to make hotpot.

they'll figure it out though, probably.]

[sharplydressed]

[Magically, that's one thing Kashuu can actually manage! Group meals are like, the only thing he knows how to cook... Outside of just straight-up throwing potatoes into a leaf pile to roast.]

Let's go, let's go! It's too bad they don't have any of the super good fish this close to the shore... Oh-- there's a crab now!

[A LITTLE TINY ONE just trying to scuttle its way home. Kashuu immediately gets up to nyoom after it...]

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[it's a good thing one of them has that part down, at least. because stahn should probably not be trusted with a hotpot alone.]

We'll probably need more than that thought, right? It's pretty small!

[that would definitely not be enough crab to suffice, especially not with stahn's appetite.]

Oh—there's another one! [this time, it's stahn's turn to go nyooming after crabs.]

i cant believe this became a tiny crab chase

[sharplydressed]

[FORTUNATELY THEY WON'T BURN THE HOUSE DOWN. At least, not this time... Not with a hotpot burner... Future instances will have to be determined on a case-by-case basis......]

Good work, good work! Yours is a little fatter than mine, I think.

[Kashuu trudges back with his pinched between his finger and thumb carefully, so it can't pinch him back.]

Let's put 'em in a bucket! They can live there together until it's time to eat them.

i can, bc they're still such moerons

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[...well, if nothing else, kashuu is definitely a little more careful than stahn about this, because he's definitely going to make a face when his crab starts pinching him.

he's fine?

it's nothing he can't handle, so he's just going to ignore that for now (and maybe eventually follow kashuu's lead on that one while he asks the obviously more important questions.]

Oh! Do we have a bucket to put them in?

truly, til the end... smh

[sharplydressed]

[Please don't get your fingers pinched off by a little tiny crab, Stahn...]

I brought one to put my supplies in, yeah.

[TROTTING OVER to the towels they left behind 100 pages ago to fetch said bucket! Unlike most normal people, his supplies aren't beach toys but are things like Extra Strength Sunbalm and three different pairs of sunglasses.]

Here! This'll work, yeah?

it could never be any other way lbr

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[he'll be fine, probably. or maybe he needs better babysitters for situations like this? who knows.

either way, stahn can't really question or judge kashuu's choice in beach supplies, especially considering the haphazard way in which he showed up for this day. it's fine.

besides, if kashuu's making good on his word here, does it really matter?]

Mm! That seems like it'll work... They'll be okay in a bucket, right?

you are not incorrect LORD...

[sharplydressed]

Well, they shouldn't be able to scuttle up the sides and escape, if that's what you mean.

[If he means their general comfort, Kashuu doesn't think it's much of an issue considering they're gonna be deda and eaten soon... Perhaps. Depending on whether or not they can actually get a good bounty harvested here.

If all they end up with is starfish, tiny clams and tiny crabs, Kashuu might suggest rethinking it...]

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[stahn's not terribly concerned with their general comfort because he knows they're crabs and they're going to be eaten. mostly he's concerned with making sure they don't get deda before they're ready to be eaten.

foul crabs just sounds like a mistake.]

Mm, I guess it should be okay, then! I just wanted to make sure... I've never caught crabs like this before!

[sharplydressed]

Neither have I!

[Why... But he manages to seem confident even when he apparently has no idea what he's doing, at least. Is that a pro or a con?? It's a mystery.]

We can just check on the old ones when we bring new ones over.

[Make sure they're still alive and kicking their tiny crab legs and waving around their angry crab claws and all.]

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[it's probably a pro. at least, it is for stahn? but stahn goes along with things pretty easily as long as it doesn't conflict with his morality, so there's that.]

That's a good idea! Then we won't have to worry about anything and we'll be all ready for our hotpot later!

[you're a genius, kashuu!! maybe...]

[sharplydressed]

[EMPHASIS ON THE MAYBE.]

Right? Two birds, one stone! ...That's the saying, yeah?

[He sure does his best... He's also going to shuffle back off toward the water as soon as he dumps his one lone crab into the bucket. It makes a teeny tiny thunk sound and then some scratching noises as it begins skittering around in there...]

What else is good for eating out here, anyway? Seaweed? Should we get some of that...?